I have been having some problems this year, mainly, people problems.... girl problems. Not the "girl problems" you used to tell your gym teacher, I mean actual problems, with actual girls. Besides the New Years Fiasco which left my toilet broken in two pieces and a 3 year friendship floating dead in the water around it, I have a serious compliant about a co-worker, who seems to think she is 1. better than me 2. older than me and 3. scary to me.... News flash honey, it is I who is better, older, and scarier, she has not seen ANYTHING YET! I think I have been quite polite but when someone accuses me of lying, when in fact she is telling lies EVERYDAY, accuses me of stealing, when in fact, her clothes are WAY too big for me (get real sweetie, I am small.... you have to at least be a large) accuses me of having my own agenda, I will own up to that one, I do, but it's to separate my success from your failure, I am so annoyed by this GIRL, yes girl, that I can no longer hold my tongue.
How do you handle disputes when punching someone in the face on the playground is no longer an option? I.E like a Lady? Here are some tips:
1. Always be RIGHT- The quickest way to settle an argument is to be right, indisputably and objectively right. Your opponent will try to disprove you but will quickly fail when they realize they have no ground to stand on. Thus, victory is yours, stick your flag in it and move on, they will feel stupid enough within themselves and even stupider if people find out how worthless their argument was. Do not fall into the trap, if your opponent is too prideful to realize they have been bested, do not return their insults because going so low only makes you look bad. State your point, know you are right and don't reciprocate insults.
2. Have Backup- Hand in hand with being right, have backup, preferably someone higher ranking than you to use as leverage for proving your point. Make sure you keep someone aware of the situation, both of yours and their actions, BCC them on emails, record conversations, screen shot texts, whatever you have to do to make sure that the problem person's opinion is highly visible. This not only keeps you honest, but it covers your ass when the battle heats up and goes beyond your control.
3. Stay calm, cool and collected- There is nothing more that a person with a terrible personality hates than a person with a calm personality. It drives them out of their mind, a smirk is icing on the cake. It says "This really doesn't bother me like you wish it did" even though it just might, never let them see you sweat. I can tell when someone is mad over text, their words are misspelled, there is punctuation all over the damn place, they send multiple texts in response to your one text. This is the perfect time, respond with all your words spelled correctly, punctuated properly, clear concise sentences in one text, this says "I am still of clear mind, you have not raised any emotion from me, you sound like a child throwing a temper tantrum". HAHA! Sit back and watch the fireworks as they do not know how to respond, they are used to their ridiculous emotion receiving a reaction, and when the opposite happens, they just get more and more desperate to evoke a reaction from you. Never give someone that privilege.
4. Public Forum- When you can no longer stand to play games with this person, take it to the streets! Address your issue with your backup, with their superior their peers, your peers, get yourself a good audience and like an adult, bring up your issue with that person. Ask for suggestions on how you two can play nice again, or simply ask to never work with that person ever again. Either way, you should receive some sort of resolution, and if you have followed the rules, you should be good to go. You have stated your opinion in a professional manner, made your opinion known through evidence, and remained of stable mind, people cannot help but respect that. And if they don't, I say get new friends, co-workers, job, etc. whatever it is because you can only work with children for so long.
How do you handle adult catfights? Give me some suggestions!
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